February 2012
15 posts
“Complementary colors… they just don’t go well together.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Please let me know if I need to make any changes ASAP. If you take too long it...”
– this weekend (via clientsfromhell)
“How many megawatsits are an image?”
– New agency, Megawatsit (via clientsfromhell)
“No, no, this is all wrong. Our colors are black, blue, lime green and clear!”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Do you know anything about protecting websites from viruses and sperm?”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“The website looks great on my screen, but I want to come in to see it in person...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Can you export this video to viral?”
– .vrl (via clientsfromhell)
“Tip: you can improve the rendering performance of transitions/animations in...”
– via Hakim El Hattab
“We would like you to manage our website. We’ve previously had a dream weaver to...”
– They called him the Dream Weaver… (via clientsfromhell)
“Can we have the whole website in Italics? I think it looks fancier.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
Me: Do you have specific colours you would like used in the design? Client: Magenta. Me: Do you have specific colours you would like us to avoid using in the design? Client: Bright Pink.
clientsfromhell:
Client: Can we have a logo that says we’re an official London 2012 Olympic Games sponsor on our website?
Me: Are you an official sponsor of the London Olympics?
Client: No.
Me: Then no.
January 2012
18 posts
“What’s your email address?”
– Sent via e-mail (via clientsfromhell)
Bricss: Simple responsive design test page →
bricss:
There are some pretty complex testing tools for responsive designs out there. I even see people constantly resizing their browser window using on-screen rulers. The easiest approach to me is just a simple page with a bunch of iframes, like Matt Kersley’s test page. Because I always ended up…
Something for @kersley to check out.
“I’ve decided on the photos that I would like you to use on the website. They are...”
– Careful now (via clientsfromhell)
“Be sure to put every letter of the alphabet in the URL. I want my site to come...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
Client: I can’t seem to find the search box, can you please make sure it’s working?
Me: The search box is in the top left hand corner of ever page.
Client: Is that on your left or my left?
“We’re a pretty forward thinking company - with pretty tech savvy employees. As...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Lastly, regarding SEO: We put about 1600 keywords into the keywords meta tag for...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
6 tags
clientsfromhell:
Client: The text is not black enough.
Me: It is set as ‘Black’ in the style sheet….
Client: Ok, but can you make it blacker than that black?
Me: Hold on, I’ll try something. Give me an hour.
I went to lunch.
Me: Okay, can you refresh your browser now?
Client: Yes, thats better, thanks.
“Transparent vector jpeg will do just fine.”
– The file format my client wants his photographs in (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
Client: My blog needs to have a picture that can easily be taken from Google images or other free sources.
Me: Hate to break it to you, but you can’t legally use Google images for free photos.
Client: Uh, yeah, you can. Just right click and click “Save Image As…” I shouldn’t have to tell you this. You’re supposed to be the graphic’s expert.
clientsfromhell:
Client: Can you just get rid of this here?
Me: The Lorum Ipsum?
Client: Yeah, just fill it with dummy text that doesn’t mean anything.
December 2011
10 posts
Those fireworks were amazing. Happy 2012 everyone where we’ll do it all over again, only better!
“The screenshot you sent is all wrong. It doesn’t let me play the video. It seems...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Send the copy to me. I probably don’t have time to comment, so if you don’t hear...”
– Aka read your mind. (via clientsfromhell)
²
clientsfromhell:
Me: Ok, the password is: K upper case, z lower case, L upper case, two -
Client: Two…? Upper case or lower case?
clientsfromhell:
Client: Do you do lemonade?
Me: Do we do… lemonade?
Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.
Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.
Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot.
Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -
Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!
Me: Do you mean… laminate?
clientsfromhell:
Client: With the issue is coming out in October, could you Photoshop a sweater on those kids in bathing suits?
Me: What, with the sweater-tool?
Client: That sounds perfect! Thanks.
November 2011
25 posts
clientsfromhell:
Client: Could you photoshop it so that I look like less of an asshole?
Me: I’m sorry, how…?
Client: My employees say I look like an asshole in this picture, so take care of it.
Me: Can you ask them how you look like -
Client: Look, my employees are ignorant idiots, just fix it.
Me: Oh, I think I see it now.
clientsfromhell:
Me: “Alright, I want you to go ahead and drag that file to your desktop.” Client: “Pff. I don’t have a desktop, I have a laptop!”
“If we crop out the fat kid, will it knock the file size down enough?”
– Fat data.
Spheres & Stuff & 3D things!
jazzybam:
Here’s a few quick renders following on from my other 3D experiments. I think I may have the hang of turning things into spheres now…
This is pretty much a constant side project for me so I’ll be posting more stuff as and when I make it.
Enjoy!
